4 Questions To Ask Yourself To Keep From Becoming Stagnant
Growing up - a lot of people believe they’re done once they pass their 20’s, but I believe that this is a harmful misconception. The idea of an end to growth causes a person to fall into a phase in which they become consumed by the mundane in order to remain in their comfort zone. The problem with this is that as soon as a comfortable location is reached, people seem to stop trying to improve themselves, and instead just let life continue on past them. They get distracted by silly things that, in the grand scheme of life, mean nothing. Watching too much television, playing too many games, surfing too often on Facebook - how many of these activities do you take part in? There’s really nothing wrong with these activities - watching the tube, jumping on some goombas, or keeping track of how many comments you’ve gotten today - but the problem arises when these activities mask a lack of personal fulfillment. If you think this sounds ridiculous, think back a bit - how did you feel about your life the last time you took a long, hard look at it? Is there anything you wish you had done? Is there anything you wish you knew how to do? Is there anything about yourself that you’d like to change?
- “Am I really fulfilled?”
A few days ago I was trying to set up a time to spend the day with a good friend, and, was shocked by the fact that he was busy for the entire week - solid. His reaction - “I do it on purpose. I found out a long time ago that if I don’t have something to do all the time, I get really depressed”.
Strange. He’s one of the happiest people I know. I realized then that by keeping a busy lifestyle, he’s avoiding the aspects of his life that really matter. In short, his contentment is very fleeting. What’s really upsetting is that this is a very common sentiment. Now, I can practically hear some of you saying “if he’s so happy, why is this a bad thing?”. The answer to that is simple; keeping up a schedule full from one end to the other every single day is tiring work. That kind of busyness is often not very productive, and can really burn a person out, not to mention it’s nearly impossible to maintain for any extended period of time. It’s much less troublesome to just take another step towards making yourself a better person every day.
- “If I could do something new, what would it be?”
Would you try a new, exotic dish? Would you travel somewhere? The real question here is “what is holding you back?”. If the answer is anything other than yourself, you are sorely mistaken. Have kids, but still want to travel? Find a babysitter or relative that will watch them. Another common excuse people make about traveling is that their job does not give enough spare time. Keep in mind, though, that you are the one in control of your job. Granted, I understand that the economy is in a bad place right now and work is difficult to find, but the general rule of thumb is if you don’t like your job, find a new one! The only barriers you have to work through to do new things are the ones you put up yourself.
- “If I knew I would succeed, what would I do?”
“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” - a wonderful quote by Robert H. Schuller. Fear of failure is all too often an excuse for becoming stagnant regarding personal growth, a topic which is covered more in-depth in my post “How To Face Your Fears”. Armed with the mentality that you will succeed, imagine what you could do; launch your own business, meet new people, and so on. For the sake of this example, lets say you wanted to make some new friends. It’s very common to fear failure in this scenario because it is impossible to ignore when someone dislikes you.
How about we look at this mathematically. With a 10% success rate in meeting new people, if you talk to only 4 new people a day for just one year, you can make over 130 new acquaintances! And that’s with a 10% success rate, which I know from experience is extraordinarily low. Plus, as you meet more and more people, your social skills will improve, as will your confidence. It’s exponential increase from every angle! And all it takes is that initial step towards improvement.
- “If I could improve myself in any way, what would I do?”
Think. Hard! Really give this some thought. What would you do?
Now, do it! Rinse and repeat as needed. This process should firmly jump start your own personal growth.
However, it’s important that you start off right. Take small (very, very small) steps and slowly build them up. For instance, if you decide to become fit enough to run a marathon, unless you’re already a highly experienced runner, starting off with a 5 mile jog will do nothing but demolish your ego, and in turn, your drive to keep going. Instead, start with a 5 minute jog, and the next day, add another minute to your jogging time. Then another. Then another, and another, and so on until finally you‘ve achieved your goal.
Now, while you’re still feeling good about reaching one particular goal, start on another, slightly more difficult goal. The longer this trend continues, the more powerful your goal-achieving ability will be. Before you know it, you’ll be accomplishing all sorts of things on your “to do” list. However, it does work in reverse as well, meaning the longer you sit around and wait to accomplish something, the more difficult it will be to get started. Inertia is a powerful tool; make sure it gets used for good.
